Unfortunately, I´m not referring to Champagne. The beverage I´m thinking of is offered widely in Europe. Canadians, or even North Americans in general, don´t drink bubbly water often and if they do, it’s for a reason. Usually to impress someone or make themselves feel important at a business lunch: “I’ll have a Pellegrino.”

Sparkling water. Water with gas. Water with bubbles. However you want to describe it, it’s not easily consumable. I agree that drinking sparkling water makes you feel a bit more sophisticated, but it’s not pleasant to drink it when you´re parched.

At work there is a choice of what Europeans refer to as “flat water”/“still water”/“water with no gas” and water with gas. Now flat water is obviously my choice. I had gas water a few times when I came to Europe. You know, to have something different and to try to fit in better with the locals. Now, I only drink what I like to call “water.” Not differentiating it by indicating whether it has bubbles or not. Water is water. When you add gas or minerals or any other “enhancement,” it only affects the taste and the level of satiation in the drinker. It doesn´t really add any prestige value in Europe. They don´t even call it “sparkling water” like North Americans say to make it sound fancy.

Yesterday, I went down to the room where the water is stored. I was utterly disappointed when I saw no more blue bottles. The regular water comes in the blue bottles. All that was left was the red bottles. The colour of the bottle tells you to stop. Don´t drink this gassy water! I was too thirsty to not take a bottle. I take the bottle back to my office discouraged. Fizzy water just doesn´t quench thirst like normal water. It fills your stomach with gas and I´m pretty sure the body doesn’t absorb it as well. And who wants to drink water that tastes like gas? How healthy is that?

I sit down at my desk and crack open the cap. Chhhhhhsssshhhhhh. Water all over my desk, my papers, the floor and some on my pants. Great, another benefit of gas water. Not. I can only blame myself because I don´t drink this water and I didn´t know that you have to be careful when opening the bottle.

There should be an instruction manual for drinking gas water:

  1. Twist cap off gradually to let some gas escape.
  2. Don´t drink when thirsty.
  3. Only take small sips.
  4. Drink water in the same day as opening. Water goes flat within 36 hours.
  5. Warning: Drinking may cause bloating.

A little bubbly……water? No thanks.